!DOCTYPE html>

Film Crew Jokes DISCLAIMER:

Collected from around the internet and on set myself. Some will offend depending on your department 🙂

Sound Guy/Gal film crew jokes

Why do sound guys only count to 2? testing, 1, 2, 1, 2…
Because you lift on 3….

What’s the difference between a sound mixer and a genny?
The genny stops whining at the end of the day.

DOP / Camera Department film crew jokes

What is the difference between a DP & God?
God doesn’t think he’s a DP

Why don’t DP’s smoke?
Because it takes them 6 hours to light it.

How many camera assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
Five — one to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

What’s the heaviest thing a camera assistant has to carry?
The operator.

How many DP’s does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, if he’s got a good crew to do it.

How many old cameramen does it take to change a light bulb?
Three – one to change the bulb, and two to reminisce about how much better they were back in the good old days of film.

What’s the difference between a monitor guy and a toilet?
A toilet only has to take shit from one A-hole at a time.

Grips / Electricians / Gen Ops – film crew jokes

How can you tell the difference between a grip and an electrician?
The electricians take the dishes out of the sink before they pee in it.

How can you tell when the generator truck is level?
The drool runs out of both sides of the genny op’s mouth.

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
“It’s a globe!”

Why did they invent the dolly?
To teach grips to walk upright.

How many grips does it take to change a light bulb?
“Not my department” or Two. One to hold it, and one to hammer it in.

What did the grip’s son get for christmas?
Your Bike.

What do you call a Grip in a suit?
The defendant.

What do you call a grip without a girlfriend?
Homeless.

PA / Runner / Teamster – film crew jokes

Why do runners always survive earthquakes?
Because they are always standing in doorways.

What’s the difference between a PA and a dog?
People get upset when you mistreat a dog.

Actors / Actress – film crew jokes

Comeback is an actor is giving you a hard time
“at least im not just a prop with lines”

How do you get the attention of four aspiring actors?
”Waiter!”

Director / 1st AD – film crew jokes

How do you know if a filmmaker is at a party?
Don’t worry, they ‘ll tell you.

How many directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one more for safety, guys.

What does an AD use for birth control?
Their personality.

What’s the difference between a documentary film maker and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of 4.

Script Supervisor – film crew jokes

What is the height of your average Script Supervisor?
I don’t know i’ve never seen them stand up either. or Depends on the height of the chair

Producer – film crew jokes

What’s the difference between a producer and a coconut?
You can get a drink out of a coconut.

Any Department – film crew jokes

How can you tell the (Insert Job Title) Guy’s kid at the playground?
They’re the one sitting off to the side watching everyone else have fun.

 

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Matt Price

Matt Price

London Sound Recordist

I am a London Sound Recordist and Sound Editor for many types of projects around the film genres. This covers creative content right through to feature films. I am passionate about sharing my journey and knowledge to help the rest of the community. If you need anything from me, feel free to get in touch with me at London Sound Recordist.

%d bloggers like this: